This is public medium - and I write here on the assumption that someone might read this. On the other hand, I don't really want to be read. That generates a need - a need to satisfy the reader. You can see it in other blogs - controversial (but paradoxically safe) subjects, common hobbies & interests. All written to generate readers and comments. Comments are the prize. The proof that these words are impacting someone else. An audience. Attention. So sweet.
But why? Most writings I read in blogs are striking in their sameness. There is very little originality, certainly in blogs emanating from comfortable middle-class Western homes (where most computers are to be found), regardless of the age, occupation or political persuasion of the writer. This is certainly true of this blog! The narcisstic impulse behind these words is quite plain. I might as well be looking in the mirror.
And perhaps that is reason to go public. Mirror gazing is lonely by nature. To be acknowledged, even negatively, is to break out. But I realise that this is not really what I want. What I want is to establish a record of my thoughts from time to time, and by writing here I develop a conceit that I am somehow more important here than I would be simply writing into a private journal. That conceit is a good motivator! But it is strange that I should be absorbed with the process.